comprehension

its hard to comprehend the true definition of beauty because if varies between cultures and continents. But one thing that matters is if you find yourself beautiful. Women at times will say that thier true motivation to look beautiful is themselves thats not the truth we all do it for the on lookers for a sense of satisfaction something that will make us believe we matter whether it is a beautiful thing we are doing or beautification of ourself it is done to please someone else. All deeds in religion are done to please GOD. Looks all things are done to please people,fashion, significant other. what do we as women have to ourselves the one thing we truly only do for ourselves. I have been depressed for such a long time and I am now understanding why. I have been with a guy for 4 years now and he is never happy with me whether its what i say the way i look what i cook. We are in possibly the most complicated, unhealthy relationship on earth we have broken up at least 10 times in 4 years yet somehow i keep going back to him hoping that something i do will gain his satisfaction I dont know what to do everyone told me from day one we were different and that i had different goals than him that he wasnt for me but i kept pushing for what so he can tell me how fat i am or how much my cooking needs to improve. today for instant i told him to stop treating me like shit in reply he said that stop acting like shit. i hope one day that life will get easier