learning to post

SO i have never been great at this whole blogging thing. I use it as my outlet but it seems like the only thing I am getting out is about someone else. So now starting today using the inspiration of my fellow bloggers I will write about my thoughts my feelings. 4 years I haven't thought about myself I don't know where to start. I just graduated with a BS in Bio started applying for jobs but the job market looks like slim pickings. I might also look in chicago, I think it is so beautiful, there are so many muslims there it might be easier to transition away from my parents if I have desi aunties and uncles around all the time. I was also thinking about taking up my old hobbies again. I loved horseback riding now that I think about it I don't know why I stopped? I have always wanted to take a photography course maybe its time I do? Slowly I will get to know myself, I have become this unknown mush of a blob that was scared to be herself because he may not like it. I was watching a desi drama today called Doraha, sara says its been so many days since someone has cursed at me or beat me up it feels weird. thats how I feel 16 days since no one has told me I mean nothing and that if I dont "behave" they will throw me out of their lives. A part of me wants to thank him if he wouldn't have ended our engagement I would have been alone sad and miserable my whole life.